Expressing Our Emotions: Strength or Weakness?

For what is a man, what has he got? If not himself then he has naught To say the things he truly feels And not the words of one who kneels

- “My Way” by Frank Sinatra

Being raised in a culture where people frown upon the idea of showing any emotions, I was taught not to let my emotions run free amid others. The norm discourages experiencing or expressing any signs of emotions, never allowing anyone to have the chance to use it against me. Emotions are being treated as a disadvantage, a liability. The child I was didn’t realize how important emotions are, to me, to anyone, regardless of their culture, age, or race. I was raised to never talk back to my seniors and even if you have something to share, you have to wait for the right moment, but rarely the right moment came. Just by standing at the sidelines, I played it safe by being invisible and the light in me grows dimmer and dimmer, losing the sparks of confidence.

As years passed by, whenever I felt like speaking out, deep down I wondered if anyone would listen, would anyone care. I grew up seeing the people I know being molded into ideas and visuals that aren’t theirs, to begin with, they grew into standards formed by the society we live in. The idea of this future bothered me. If you so much desire a change, you would be judged and criticized upon, just for the sake of being different, but who is there to judge if the difference we make is the right choice or the wrong one? If we live our lives only for the sake of living and not by our standards, are we truly living the lives we wanted, or are we just society’s puppets?

The problem that comes with the desire to express our emotions is sometimes we just care too much in perfecting our expressions. Layers of anxiety were stacked one after the next, does this sound alright? Oh, would it be too arrogant for me to use this word? Urgh. The headache. It is wonderful to exert care in our work, the need to thrive for perfection, but one of these days, we have to admit that perfection comes from our definition, not from others. Stop focusing your energy in crafting the perfect voice, instead, spend your time learning how to speak out, let yourself nurture, and let the voice you have within you be heard. It’s going to be hard at first, not going to lie, there’s no way to sugar-coat this, when we are exposed to a new element, the idea itself terrifies the hell out of us. Trust me, it’s not just you, pretty sure anyone would agree that putting yourself out there vulnerably, facing people that are potentially judging you, is scary.

Though, think about it, if you are up there, with a strong voice, holding on to your identity, knowing what you stand for, doesn’t it help a little in lowering down your anxieties? It does, doesn’t it? Having confidence by your side as you are expressing yourself, it does wonders, it lets your voice to be heard. At the end of the day, we aren’t able to satisfy everyone, we were not born for the sake of others, there is always going to be people out there who will either be with you, supporting you, but there is also going to be people who are against you. Don’t waste your life pleasing people that doesn’t matter to you, live your life for yourself.

As long as you are comfortable with who you are and stand up, whatever others think of you doesn’t bother you that much after all, does it?

Stripping away your social identities, what makes you, you? Not many people could answer that. Here’s one, Tell me something about yourself. People would start listing out their job, their alma-mater, where they were originally from, the whole she-bang. Honestly, that’s how I would have answered, in a job interview, that is. Not much I can say in the given 2 minutes. Anyway, that’s not what I was referring too. Who am I? Now, that’s a question you ask yourself in the mirror and one that you might find it hard to answer.

Let’s talk about self-expression. What makes you, you? Your personality? How that come about? What transforms it to the person you are today? The answer to that is the very foundation of your beliefs and values that shaped your identity. In a way, that’s what brings others to our lives, the alignment between souls, I’m getting spiritual here. My point is, this is how we connect with other people, our identities are the bridge that forms the connection, where similarities between two people are found, where similar interests or hobbies are shared. That’s how friendships or any other relationships are formed, how we come to find people that support us, and stayed with us throughout the ups and downs in our lives. How do we do that, you asked? By expressing ourselves.

Though, keep in mind that we should never let our emotions take control of your life, sometimes we have no control over how intense our emotions get, and that it would at times, affects others along the way, we wouldn’t want to hurt the people we love. It’s alright to express your emotions, but if it is ever a negative one, if you are sad or angry over a situation, promise yourself that no matter how bad it is, stand back up again, if you fall, you acknowledge it, but always stand up again, just as the sun always rises the next day after a heavy downfall. Be honest in yourself, and trust your strength to put you back at the top. Be brave with whatever the outcome is or challenges to face, and most importantly, be grateful. Be mindful, have no regrets, you are not being held back anymore, you are finally yourself.

We weren't born to follow Come on and get up off your knees When life is a bitter pill to swallow You gotta hold on to what you believe Believe that the sun will shine tomorrow And that your saints and sinners bleed We weren't born to follow You gotta stand up for what you believe

- “We Weren’t Born to Follow” by Bon Jovi